Tuesday, February 06, 2007


Remember Reverend Ted Haggard? Well, good news! He's been cured of his homosexuality.

''He is completely heterosexual," said Tim Ralph, one of the ministers who oversaw his stoning rehab. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing.''

Ah, I get it! He had a case of situational homosexuality. He only "acted out" in certain situations.

"It's like an open wound," according to Mike Ware, another of Haggard's exorcists counselors. "He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed.''

I wonder if that's covered by his healthcare plan...

(h/t Josh Marshall)


Blogger Serrephim said...

I'm reminded of the Dan Savage reply from a few years back to the hetero guy who was too paralyzed by pleasure to move when his gay masseuse put his thumb in the question poser's ass.

10:47 AM  
Blogger cuznate said...

what was the reply?

also, my favorite part of that article was in the first paragraph, where it was stated that he's "completely convinced" that he's hetero. and so thus they're pronouncing him hetero. so denial based closeting = hetero.


9:34 AM  
Blogger el_gallo said...

He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed.''

I bet he does...

3:48 PM  
Blogger Jester said...

Oh good, now instead of holding him up as an example of everything that is bigoted and hypocritical about religion and religious leaders can once again be held up as some hero for the ex gay movement.

That is until he's caught with his hand in the cookie jar again.

And by cookie jar I mean his roommate at The Promised Land reorientation camp.

2:40 AM  

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